


girls just wanna have fun

by ShippingEve



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, F/M, Fisting, Gangbang, Group Sex, Hand Jobs, Knifeplay, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Orgy, Penis In Vagina Sex, Pregnancy, Shameless Smut, Smut, Spanking, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27538336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingEve/pseuds/ShippingEve
Summary: After a heartbreaking moment with Eve, Villanelle looks for solace, and surprises herself along the way
Relationships: Armando the Window Man/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Bill Pargrave/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Eve Polastri/Niko Polastri, Frank Haleton/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Hugo/Kenny Stowton, Hugo/Kenny Stowton/Felix, Hugo/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Kenny Stowton/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Konstantin Vasiliev/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Mo Jafari/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Niko Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Tony/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova, Zhang Wu/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	girls just wanna have fun

**Author's Note:**

> it has been a long time but i saw that there was something people in the fandom wanted and i am here to provide. Thanks to suggestions from an anonymous contributor who helped with this story

Villanelle had been living as an assassin for a while but she was tired of it. She wasn’t happy. Most of all, she was very sad about Eve. She loved Eve, of course. 

She had so many beautiful days with Eve. Loving Eve. Kissing her. Having sex with her. Eating her pussy. Caressing her beautiful skin. Eve was everything to her.

Then she asked Eve if they could be everything to each other forever.

And oh, how much she loved Eve, and oh, how heartbroken she was when Eve turned away, and pursed her lips, and didn’t say anything. Which said everything.

She needed to feel better. She needed to feel new. She needed a change.

No more Eve. The opposite of Eve. And opposite… is opposite.

Villanelle got out her little black book and made a few calls.

Then she went back to her Paris apartment. It would be a few days before the arrangements would come through. So she took her time setting up the space and stocking up on supplies.

Condoms, of course. Lube. Plenty of snacks and water bottles. Nothing is worse than when you get hungry or thirsty during and don’t have energy to do what you need to do.

Two days later, her doorbell rang, and the first guest arrived.

Villanelle opened the door and greeted him with a smile. “Thank you for coming!”

“I’d never miss it,” Hugo said. He had a handle of whiskey in his hand. Villanelle raised an eyebrow at it, but he didn’t offer it to her. Merely took a hearty swig himself. “If what you told me on the phone is true, I’m gonna need all of this.”

“Fair enough.” Villanelle let him in.

Just as Hugo went inside and took a seat at the end of the bed, the next guest arrived.

“Is this the right place?” Kenny looked back and forth nervously.

“Yes, come on in.” Villanelle beckoned him in, and hoped Hugo would make him feel more comfortable, for she couldn’t tend to Kenny right now – even more were arriving.

Konstantin grumbled a hello – he had been to this apartment plenty of times before, so it wasn’t very special for him. Villanelle was excited to see him, though, for it had been so long, and they hadn’t exactly left on the best of terms the last time they saw each other.

The rat, Frank, wasn’t far behind, and he made several snide comments on Villanelle’s choice of decor as he entered. Luckily, Bill was close on his tail, keeping him in check with sarcasm. Villanelle was glad she decided to secretly spare both of them from when she was supposed to kill them. She knew they would be useful some day.

Once the crowd was mostly there, and socializing a bit, Villanelle decided to call for everyone’s attention.

“Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming. I appreciate you taking a leap of faith, but I think we will all be happy once we do what I have planned.”

“Excuse me.”

Villanelle turned back to the door. One more person had arrived.

“Hello, mustache,” she said. “I mean, Niko.”

“What’s going on here?” he said. “I thought you told me we had to talk about Eve, that she was in grave danger.”

“That was a lie,” Villanelle said. “I’m sorry. I wanted you here, but I thought if I told you the truth you might not come, but once you saw the rest of them, and you were here, you might understand.”

“Understand what?” Niko wrinkled his nose. His mustache wrinkled, too.

“Eve broke my heart,” Villanelle said plainly. “As I think she has to most of you, in one way or another.”

All around the room, men nodded, one after another.

“I want something different,” Villanelle said. “I want pleasure. I want what I could never have with her. I want to be fucked like only a man can.”

“By whom?” Bill piped up.

Villanelle merely looked around the whole room. “All of you.”

“All of us, why?” Konstantin growled. “Some of them are supposed to be dead. You have been very naughty, Villanelle.”

“Tell me that again,” Villanelle purred. “Right after I slip into something more comfortable.”

. . . . .

The setup took a few minutes.

There were awkward collisions, at first.

But then, delightful chaos.

Kenny and Hugo were the first to acquiesce (the former requiring much encouragement form the latter), but they began by laying Villanelle out, kissing her deeply and spreading her back across the bed. Kenny kept her mouth occupied while Hugo put a hand between her legs.

Villanelle knew this was a futile exercise. Let’s be clear about that.

She knew full well she was engaging in a coping mechanism for how hurt she was by Eve and relying on men.

For she wasn’t attracted to men, not in the slightest.

When Hugo pulled out his dick, she grimaced at first, though she had to admit it looked more graceful than she imagined. Hugo bent down and put his mouth to her pussy. He wasn’t bad. Between his tongue flicking her clit and Kenny kissing around her neck and touching her breasts, she grew rather wet, and soon it was enough for Hugo to bring his manliness up to her cunt and insert himself into her. 

“I am completely miserable,” Villanelle repeated to herself while she rode his cock like a pony. “I’m only doing this out of a desire to feel normalcy. While I don’t label myself, I’m certainly not attracted to men the way I am to women.”

She moaned the last bit, as the men on both sides of her rolled her into a comfortable orgasm.

Hugo slid out and needed a bit to recover. Villanelle could swear out of the corner of her eye she saw him rolling over into Kenny’s arms. But she couldn’t focus on that for long, for there were others eagerly awaiting their turn.

Bill for his part looked rather excited. Villanelle recalled, after she spared him that night in the club in Berlin, how he’d told her a few stories about what he used to get up to, sexually. He had a voracious appetite for people of all genders and every kink under the sun. Villanelle had not doubted he’d accept her invitation, and in fact had been rather excited to see what he’d bring to the table.

In true fashion, Bill surprised her. He didn’t take out his dick right away, and instead took Villanelle carefully and started working into her a bit with his fingers.

“You don’t have to go so slow,” she complained. “I just took Hugo. I’m ready.”

“If you say so.” Bill shrugged then put his whole hand inside her. Villanelle squeaked as it went inside. It was rather a lot, but then it felt nice. Not because it was a man’s hand. A hand could be anyone’s, which made sense why Villanelle liked it. Because she didn’t like men, she liked women, certainly, and perhaps also men sometimes, but certainly not enough to say she was attracted to men for real.

“Absolutely awful.” Said a voice behind her. That prim and proper voice could only be one person, Frank. Villanelle merely chuckled while she came again on Bill’s hand. As Bill withdrew it, Villanelle tutted her lips. 

“Someone is a little too impatient,” she said. Then she stalked over to her wardrobe to look for the right instrument. “Someone is jealous, I think. You can have a turn too. I have just the thing for you.”

Villanelle pulled out her favorite knife and then walked across the room. She began drawing it along Frank’s chest. As she cut open a window through his shirt, she recalled how much he shivered when she held a knife on him once before. As he unzipped his pants, she drew the blade of the knife along the tender skin of his member. He was already erect and orgasmed almost immediately.

“You like that, don’t you,” Villanelle said menacingly. 

She brought the knife back in the other direction. But it was probably bad that she had sharpened it recently, for then it cut through him with hardly any pressure. Suddenly his member was flopping on the floor, and then Frank himself dropped to the floor as well.

“Whoops,” Villanelle said. She whirled around, to try to explain to the others how weird that was, right? But she didn’t look, and as soon as she turned, her knife stuck right into Bill’s chest.

“Oh, bollocks,” he said, looking down at it.

“Oops, I’m so clumsy,” Villanelle said. She pulled the knife out but then a noise distracted her and she stabbed him again. And again. It’s so easy to lose control. There were a lot of things happening, after all.

Soon Bill was dead on the floor next to Frank. Konstantin looked at Villanelle disapprovingly, and she smiled sheepishly. “Finishing the job, like you told me.”

“You are so naughty, Villanelle.” Konstantin stalked over to her, and Villanelle popped a finger into her mouth excitedly.

“Have I been bad?”

“Very bad.”

“Is daddy going to punish me?”

“Certainly. Get on the bed.”

Konstantin pushed her onto the mattress. Kenny and Hugo rolled out of the way, tangled up in each other.

Villanelle laid flat on her stomach, legs dangling off one side of the bed. She shivered in anticipation as Konstantin raised his arm. 

When his hand made contact with her buttock, she squealed in ecstasy. He hit her again and again until she came with delight.

She knew she was only getting off on how different this was from being with Eve. For she didn’t like men, and certainly, most definitely, was not a “bottom”. She was a psychopath and an assassin. In reality, she could only ever be a dominant “top.” Villanelle knew this very well, as she rode her orgasm with her cheeks turning red. The only “bottom” she had was the one Konstantin spanked until it was raw.

Tony, her old friend who’d helped her through her grieving when she thought she’d have to kill Eve, also turned up. He stroked her hair softly, just as she liked it, while she tugged at Armando, who then sprayed his glaze all over the windows.

Such an impressive array of penises before, her. Some large, some small. Some pale, some darker. Some large, some small. Most erect. One severed on the floor. The pool of blood from Frank and Bill was growing larger. Villanelle hoped no one would slip in it.

Some new penises appeared every minute. Every time Villanelle looked up, there was another. She had to glance up and take in the new visitors. She’d forgotten how many people she invited. There was Mo, Carolyn’s colleague. He welcomed her with a scruffy kiss, then she sucked him off in record time. All the dicks, wieners, dingdongs, whatever you like to call them, before her were like her personal collection. Villanelle was a curator and this was her museum. But it wasn’t a stuffy museum. Here, touching the masterpieces was not only allowed, but encouraged.

Then another familiar face showed up – just the face, he did not have his penis exposed (but that was okay). Villanelle pulled her mouth off of Zhang Wu’s balls to greet him. “Felix! I am so glad you came!”

“Hello, my friend,” Felix smiled meekly, unabashed by the scene before him.

“Don’t hesitate!” Villanelle said, spreading her legs wide for him. “Hop in! I am ready to go. I am open for business.” She was so warmed up, she knew she could take him instantly.

“That is a very kind offer,” Felix said. “I came by to see my friend, though. Not to have sex with you.”

“That is a shame,” Villanelle said. “After I spared your life, too? I could have killed you for messing up on the job.”

“I appreciate it, I do,” Felix said. “And in another world, maybe I would be devastatingly attracted to my mentor in kind of a parental sort of way. But you see, I am gay. I am not attracted to women.”

“Hm,” Villanelle said, then shrugged. “Well, feel free to get some snacks if you want.”

Then she returned to her work. She was having a wonderful time, but there was one penis in the room she needed desperately to try that she hadn’t managed yet.

“Eeny, meeny, miney, mustache,” she said. She got on her hands and knees and crawled over towards the chair where Niko was sitting. She had seen this move work on him before. She knew he would not be able to resist.

Sure enough, Niko’s eyes flicked down, to Villanelle’s open mouth as she licked her lips, to her breasts as they hung free, to her ass as it swung around in the air as she crawled. Though he tried, he could not mask the hunger in his eyes.

Villanelle climbed onto his lap and unzipped his pants. Niko was already growing hard, in spite of himself. He began to voice a protest but Villanelle put a hand over his mouth. “It’s okay,” she said. “She can’t hurt either of us any more. Let’s make each other feel good, okay, Mr. Polastri?”

Then, she sat on his cock. It wasn’t huge but it was bigger than she expected. Good for him. He let out a low guttural moan as he entered her, and despite how many men she’d had inside her already, Villanelle made a sound as well. As she raised and lowered herself onto him, she felt herself tighten with pleasure. Every time was unique. But no, it wasn’t men that she liked. She was merely going through the motions with men as a “fuck you” to Eve. She didn’t love the feeling of a rock-hard penis inside her, or of his big, manly hands gripping onto her waist to help her in her motion. She hated feeling him throb and knowing how close he was to coming, how she made him feel that way. It was only the societal context of her action, that was all, that was all–

“I’m a lesbian!” Villanelle screamed as she climaxed so hard on the tip of Niko’s schlong that she lost vision for a few seconds.

“Is that so?” someone said, and others laughed. Villanelle is too far gone to be sure who spoke. There are so many men around her, and she hates being around men, she only likes women, she only ended up here as a statement…

“Hmm,” Villanelle murmured. “Maybe not… After all, I do not usually use labels. But I do not like sex with men. Anyone could see that.”

“Yeah,” another voice said. It had to be Hugo, that arrogant piece of shit. “Anyone could see.”

As her vision slowly came back into focus, she noted that Kenny and Hugo had added another body into their pulsing tango… A buzzed head peeked out between them… Felix, good for him… she was proud of her mentee.

Then, another knock at the door.

That wasn’t right. It couldn’t be. For all that Villanelle had been surprised at a few arrivals, she was very sure that now everyone she invited was here. Literally every man she ever met had made an appearance. Unless it was her father coming back from the dead…

While she is confused, and rather incapacitated, Kenny helpfully got up to go answer the door.

And who was standing there but her.

Her, the cause of Villanelle’s broken heart. The reason she’d even considered being with any of these men in the first place.

Niko, the whole time, had been sulking on his own, sitting on a chair in the corner, refusing to participate. “Eve, darling!”

“Niko, thank god,” Eve said. “I was looking everywhere. I have to apologize to you. I don’t know what I was ever thinking. It was you, it has always been you. Can you forgive me, and take me back?”

“Of course, darling,” Niko said. He ran over and took Eve in his arms.

It broke Villanelle’s heart to see them together, looking so right.

But it helped, when after they left, the rest of the men split her in half seven ways to Sunday.

And she had to admit, she did enjoy it a little bit.

. . . . . 

**Nine months later…**

. . . . . 

Villanelle kept it a secret because in spite of herself, she wanted Eve to be happy. And if being with Niko was what made her happy, she didn’t want to ruin it.

So when her water broke, she drove herself to the hospital. She didn’t need to tell anyone. Even the father. The doctor had asked if she’d been with many men in a period of time, and Villanelle laughed for six whole minutes straight.

But it wasn’t so funny, as she was left to go through the pregnancy alone. She knew who the father was, of course. There was only one man who came inside her without a condom. But she couldn’t break that news to Niko. She couldn’t risk ruining his and Eve’s happiness. So she went to the hospital alone.

The nurses informed her she would have semi-private delivery room, and despite her threats and curses there was no changing it. They promised there would be a curtain separating her from the other mother-to-be, but what use was a curtain? At best, even if it blocked the visuals, she’d be able to hear everything.

And sure enough, she did.

She heard very clearly from the moment she is wheeled into the room.

“Niko, I swear to god, if you don’t give me some space–“

“Eve?”

The curtain pulled back to reveal a shocked Niko (who lost the mustache), and a very pregnant Eve.

“Hi, Niko,” Villanelle smiled sheepishly. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you have requests you can comment or send them to @shippingEve on Twitter. dont be shy


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